Monday, February 23, 2009

4th Annual My Thoughts As I Had Them During the Oscars

Well, the 81st Annual Oscars are in the books and yet again, I have written down my thoughts as they occurred in order to share them with you.  If you're interested, here are links to the previous three...

My 1st Annual Thoughts As I Had Them During The Oscars Post

My 2nd Annual Thoughts As I Had Them During The Oscars Post

My 3rd Annual Thoughts As I Had Them During The Oscars Post

And without further ado, this years....

-Wow, the opening musical bit about Slumdog Millionaire is actually better then the movie.  Hugh Jackman should have made Slumdog Millionaire!

-Anne Hathaway should host the Oscars, she's funny.  I wonder if this musical bit about Frost/Nixon is more or less historically accurate then the movie Frost/Nixon?  Either way, it would have been interesting if this was the route they took in the movie.  And Hathaway actually does a fairly good Nixon improvisation.  Nice.

-"I'm WOLVERINE!!!!!"  Yes.  Yes you are.  And don't let anyone ever tell you different.

-Non-Best picture nominees mentioned in the opening song, The Wrestler, The Dark Knight, and Iron Man.  Go comic book movies!  And did I mention the host is Wolverine?  I did?  Okay.  Did he?  He did?  Okay.  Good.

-Meryl Streep is clearly juicing.  Good call Wolverine.  (I mean Hugh Jackman).  I'm glad that Wolverine (I mean Hugh Jackman) had the guts to come right out and call her out on it.  If someone had done that in baseball 10 years ago, maybe it wouldn't be in the situation it is now.

-Tilda Swinton was much better in two films this year (Burn After Reading and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button) then she was in Michael Clayton for which she won an award.  For that matter, Clooney was much better in Burn After Reading then he was in Michael Clayton too.  Did I mention that I wasn't a fan of Michael Clayton?

-Wow.  Sister Act reference by Whoopi.  Or was it a Sister Act 2 reference?  Not sure.  But also a Jesus reference.  Go Jesus.

-Taraji was amazing in Benjamin Button.  I think she was really the heart of the whole film.

-Yeah, we're tight like that.  I can call her Taraji.

-Okay.  I've never met Taraji.  I just like to say Taraji.

-This whole 5 past winners introducing the 5 nominees is taking forever.  I hope they don't do this with every category.

-Penelope Cruz wants to share the Oscar with the other five nominees.  People always say that, but I don't believe it.  What, Penelope, you're telling me that you want to have it cut into 5 equal pieces so that everyone can have a piece?  "Here Marisa, Taraji (hah, fit her name in again), Amy, and Viola, I told you I wanted to share this with you!"  How would you feel if the part Penelope gives you is Oscar's ass?

-Wow.  Tina Fey cleans up good.

-And Steve Martin is still hilarious.  That doesn't mean I'm going to see Pink Panther 2 though.

-"A movie sometimes starts out as an idea for a great movie poster"  Sadly many of them seem to be made based on that these days.  Movies like Pink Panther 2 for instance.

-The only Best Picture nominee up for Original Screenplay and the best original screenplay nominated, good to see a deserving script win here for Milk.  I fear disappointments ahead, so I'll enjoy this victory.

-Crap, now I'm tearing up.  Great speech.  Amen.

-I've got a bad feeling about this.  It all could turn bad early.

-BOO! Well, it's going to be a long night.  Slumdog Millionaire is so undeserving and yet it is going to win a lot tonight.

-Jack Black says people like him more in animated roles.  That's because your animated personality seems to work better as, well, um, as, you know, animation.

-I'm sorry, by the way, but I enjoyed Star Wars: The Clone Wars.  Sure it's not like a masterpiece or anything, but it was fun.  And the cartoon is fantastic.

-Whew.  I was worried Kung Fu Panda might actually win.  Not that it wasn't a good movie, because it really was, but WALL-E was GLORIOUS.

-Translation Courtesy of Josh Man... "Domo Aragato, Mr. Roboto" means "Thank you very much, Mr. Roboto".  I know you were wondering.  I'm here to help.  As to what Penelope said at the end of her speech earlier I could translate that too, I just don't feel like it.  (Okay, I admit.  She talks too fast for me to keep up with my 7th grade Spanish lessons).

-Just wanted to say that Daniel Craig is not MY James Bond.

-Wow.  The Dark Knight is 0-2 so far.  I really thought it was going to have a night like The Matrix did a few years ago.  Well they still have 6 awards to go.

-OMG!! Edward Cullen!!! OMG!!!!!!!! Hmph.  I mean, (*clears throat*) Who is Robert Pattinson?

-I'm way impressed that they put the Franco and Penn kiss in the romantic montage.  Good job Academy.

-You know, I'm not really digging the format this year.  An awards show shouldn't be laid out like the making of a film.  It totally isn't working for me.

-The Joaquin Pheonix

-Well, this award will give us a hint on how the night will go.

-Slumdog Millionaire.  Well, not good for those who hoped that good movies would win big at this years Oscars.

(note: I realize a lot of people liked this movie, and while I don't understand why it is only fair I tell you why I didn't.  If you want to see my review of it read towards the end of my Oscar Preview and Prediction Post.)

-Meanwhile, The Dark Knight is 0-3.

-Why the Star Trek music as Jessica Biel walks out?

-Oh, she hosted the Sci-Tech Awards.  Makes sense I guess.

-Not her hosting it.  The music.

-Wow.  Seth Rogen is getting svelte!  Is he cutting down on his Munchies intake?

-Holy Crap!  Another Sister Act reference.  Whoever had the over on Sister Act references in their Oscar Poll is going to bank tonight.

-It isn't that I think Wolverine (I mean Hugh Jackman) is doing a bad job, but this is really the worst Oscars I can remember.  I'm making myself laugh occasionally, but the show isn't really entertaining me the way I've come to expect.  Where are you Jon Stewart!?!?

-And I fear that the way the awards turn out is going to make me like this year's Oscars even less.

-And by the way.... the Musical is SOOOOOO not back.

-Will Cuba Gooding Jr. ever make a good movie again?  I mean, really.

-I think Josh Brolin has had one of the single greatest years in acting ever.  He was great in last year's best picture No Country For Old Men, he gave the greatest possible performance as George Bush in W., and he was phenomenal in Milk.  And all three characters were completely different.  Great job this year by him.

-Suddenly, I have a fever.  And the only prescription is (go ahead, say it with me) MORE COWBELL!

-Not at all surprising, and very, very deserving.  You earned this Heath, dead or alive.  Think about it, this is one of the greatest screen villains of all time along with Chigurh (Bardem won the Oscar) and Lector (Hopkins won the Oscar).  You should have won many more then just this one, Heath.  And I apologize again for my crack way back in the first annual My Thoughts As I Had Them During The Oscars post.  (Although it was still pretty funny).

-Isn't it a little rude to have someone who made a documentary that didn't get nominated present the movies that did and then announce the winner?

-Ha!  At least he acknowledged it himself.

-Man on Wire was fantastic.  Do yourself a favor and Netflix it.

-Phillipe is so awesome!  I think this might go down as an Iconic Oscar Moment along with Roberto Benigni jumping up on the chair, Adrian Brody kissing Halle Berry, and Jack Palance doing the one armed pushup.  (Not to mention Sally Field.)  We love you Phillipe.  We really, really love you!

-This action montage makes me wish a Bond movie had come out this year.

-What?  Quantum of Solace?  That's not a Bond movie.  Wasn't that Bourne 4?

-I still don't think Button will get the one it deserves, but at least it's winning a few.  The Dark Knight is now 1 for 5 with the only win being Heath.

-Okay, 2 for 6.  Only Heath and a very technical Sound Editing award to TDK.

-Seriously?  Sound Mixing to Millionaire?  And TDK falls to 2 for 7?  Horrible.

-A lot of times watching the Oscars I wonder if the people who voted actually watched the movies they're voting for or if they just listen to the hype.

-The Editor of Millionaire says he wished filming it had never ended.  As an editor, that is a weird thing to say.  If filming of the movie never ended, you never really get to do your job.  Maybe he's lazy and didn't want to work.

-Meanwhile, I couldn't wait for it to end when I saw it.  True story, I got in trouble in the theater because I checked the time on my phone so often that the theater workers thought I was recording the movie.  Seriously.

-Hey, Eddie Murphy.  He used to make good movies too.  No really, kids.  He did.

-It's a good thing that the overall show of the Oscars doesn't have a long shelf life, just moments of the show.  Because I've got to believe that in 3 years no one will know who Zac Efron is.  (And I have to be completely honest here, I'm not entirely sure now who he is.)

-So, we're supposed to have hope and optimism that fate will just take care of everything for us?  Because if you stop and think about it that is the message that Slumdog Millionaire is sending us.  Personally I feel that it is important for us to work towards making our life better and working towards the hope and optimism not just expecting all of the answers to be given to us by some ridiculous, unrealistic, and frankly nonexistent idea of "fate".  Sure, I believe that there is such a thing as fate (I really do), but not like this.  Saying that it does is just a disservice to people who work towards making their own dreams a reality.  Okay, rant over.

-Wow.  This is shocking and clearly the upset of the night.  A lot of people felt that Waltz With Bashir should have also been nominated for Best Documentary and Best Animated Picture and then to not even win this category?  I'm shocked.  A lot of people had this high up in their top ten lists.

-We truly lost a lot of talented people this year, and because I have to say it everytime I see him....  KHAN!!!!!!!

-I'll pretend that Danny Boyle won an Oscar for Trainspotting.  Or Sunshine.  Both of those films see him more deserving.

-The only good part of the movie was the dance number at the end of the credits and he didn't even credit the man responsible for it in the movie.  That's really unforgivable.

-I loved how the winner the year before of Best Actor and Best Supporting Actor awarded the Best Actress and Best Supporting Actress and vice versa.  This just feels unnecessary to me the way they're doing it this year.

-Have you seen the episode of Ricky Gervais's Extras on HBO?  Kate Winslet totally should have thanked Ricky Gervais in her speech.  She went long enough, I'm sure she could've fit him in.

-Seriously though, while this is no where near the best job she's ever done as an actress, Kate Winslet is very deserving of being an Oscar winner.  I'm happy she won.

-Is Adrian Brody going to kiss the winner?  He totally should.

-Oh!  If Sean Penn wins, maybe he'll kiss Adrian Brody.  That would be awesome!

-Hey!  This one got it right too!  I really thought that Mickey Rourke was going to win, but no question in my mind, Sean Penn deserved to.

-"You Commie Homo-lovin sons o' guns!"  Awesome.

-I still think that he should have kissed Adrian Brody.  Missed opportunity there, Sean.

-All right, it's obvious, but let's go ahead and get it over with.

-Benjamin Button is so far and away the Best Picture of the year, and of all the nominees only Milk deserves to be mentioned along side it.  That's the way I feel.

-Yeah, it was obvious, but I'm still disappointed.  Slumdog Millionaire wins best picture.

Until Next Time, how did you feel about the Oscars?  How did you think Wolverine did?  Were you upset or excited about how things went?  Let me know!

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