Thursday, March 11, 2010

The Fifth Annual "My Thoughts As I Had Them During the Oscars" Post

So, now that I am past the craziness of this last week plus and can see the beauty of Spring Break in front of me, allow me to get caught up a bit with my blogging.

To start, here is my fifth annual, "My Thoughts As I Had Them During the Oscars" post.

The fourth annual can be found here with links to the first three if you doubt that I've been doing this for five years.

Told ya...

So, without further ado,


-Wow, a Harold and Kumar reference, you honestly don't think that you'll get those while watching the Oscars.

-It seems a little unfair, speaking as a straight man, that Neil Patrick Harris is dancing with those scantily clad ladies. I mean, he doesn't even like the ladies!

-Guess they didn't think that Steve and Alec could handle a musical number to open the show.

-Damn Helen Mirren. Best joke involving the title "Dame" ever? Perhaps.

-Okay, we get it, Merryl Streep is here.

-SEE! It goes to show what I've always said. You can never go wrong with a reference to The Jerk.

-Because the fact that she was formally married to James Cameron is all that matters about her. You guys know that she directed an Oscar nominated movie too, right? And is nominated for Best Director herself? No, it's all about the fact that she used to be married to James Cameron.


-Okay, Best Supporting Actor... WHAT A SHOCK!!! Oh wait, no it isn't.

-I hope that is the end of Tarantino's wins tonight.

-I have to admit, even the preview for The Blind Side makes me tear up.

-"I want to explore it now! This is not food!" Man I love Dug. Not even going to lie.

-Okay, Best Animated Feature, and... not a surprise, I can't wait for a category with some suspense.

-I do like that Pete Doctor has an Ellie-Badge on.

-Does anyone else think that this presenter, Miley Cyrus?, looks a lot like Hannah Montana? I wonder if anyone has ever seen them both in the same place at the same time.

-It's a little strange not getting the Best Song Nominees performed live. Don't think I like this way.

-And we are 3 for 3 with zero surprises or suspense.

-"I love you more than rainbows"? Really? And you won an Oscar for your ability to write lyrics?

-Captain Kirk?

-The description of Best Picture Nominee Inglourious Basterds, and look, they chose one of the two scenes in the whole movie that actually had the Basterds in it.

-Hey, in Shannon's sermon today, we time traveled back to 1981! Now the Oscars are taking us back to the 80's by having Matthew Brodrick and Molly Ringwald together on stage!

-John Hughes will truly be missed.

-"Those weren't pillows!" If only Steve Martin were so funny tonight.

-Okay, I'll say it, Logoland looks kind of awesome!

-After the weirdness that was last year's show, they seem to have gone completely the other way. There is no excitement at all thus far.

-Ben Stiller.

-"Aren't you a little short to be a Na'vi?"

-That last one was a Star Wars reference in case you didn't catch it.

-Best Makeup... And Star Trek FTW! Should've gotten a Best Picture nomination, but I'm glad it won something.

-Best Adapted goes to Precious! First real surprise of the night, I was anticipating an Up in the Air win. Of course this was also the first category where there was any real chance at competition.

-You know, if everyone stands up, we can't tell who it is that we're supposed to be clapping for.

-Why lamps for Best Supporting Actress? This set design is weird this year.

-Seriously, how much money do you think you would have made if one year ago you had said to someone, "I bet you that at next year's Oscars, Mo'Nique wins an Oscar." Seriously, you would have banked.

-At least Mo'Nique's speech injected some life into this show. Very boring so far.

-Off topic, because this is a commercial, but they really need to rename "Dancing with the Stars". These people can't be considered Stars.

-Avatar wins its first Oscar of the night! Really hoping that it can win Best Picture.

-Sarah Jessica Parker's hair looks terrible. It is really throwing me off.

-I kind of enjoyed the Costume Designer's speech. "This is for you. But I'm going to take it home tonight."

-Make up your mind, Oscars. You can either say that Horror films have gotten no award recognition since the Exorsist(1973), or you can show clips of Silence of the Lambs(Best Picture 1991) in your Horror montage, but you can't have it both ways.

-Time to find some new narrators. That is everyone's homework. Don't get me wrong, I love Morgan Freeman, but there have to be more than one person in the world who can narrate something.

-The first head to head match-up between Avatar and Hurt Locker is Sound Editing, and it goes to Hurt Locker, not looking good for Avatar.

-And again in Sound Mixing. I was hoping for a split to keep up the suspense, but it is looking like a Hurt Locker night.

-So... most boring Oscar's ever?

-Trying to do homework during commercials, but I have to say, this coke commercial, where someone puts a coke bottle into recycling and it comes right out as a brand new coke is really kind of gross if you think about it.

-And she was worst actress of the year in last night's Razzies too! Don't forget that when you're introducing Sandra Bullock.

-The Cinematography Oscar goes to Avatar. I'm still getting the feeling that it is going to be a Hurt Locker night.

-Demi Moore! Or as the kids know her, Ms. Ashton Kutcher

-Always my favorite moment of the Oscars, and James Taylor can only make it better.

-Dr. No died? I had somehow missed that.

-Larry Gelbert was an amazing comedy writer.

-Um, where was Farrah Fawcett?

-Okay, I've seen dancers that were more extraordinary.

-I'm just saying.

-How did they not play any of the main theme from Fantastic Mr. Fox? Just a terrible job in selecting which part of the score to play there.

-A score that also deserved a nomination? The Road. It was hauntingly beautiful, just fantastic. It, Fantastic Mr. Fox, and Avatar were my favorites this year, but I won't complain about Up winning.

-Michael Giacchino also did a great job with the Star Trek score this year. He also does a great job weekly on LOST. (And by the way, I'm glad I was able to fit LOST into this post.)

-Sometimes I really don't get the pairings. Gerard Butler and Bradley Cooper together for special effects? Really? Why?

-If Avatar didn't win for Special Effects, I honestly would probably never have watched the Oscars again.

-Seriously something exciting needs to happen soon. Very, very boring Oscars so far.

-Okay, that Modern Family promo was HIGH-LARIOUS!!! If only the cast of Modern Family could have hosted the Oscars this year.

-So a friend of mine (who happens to be gay) just answered my "Most boring Oscars ever?" text by texting back, "Anytime Bradley Cooper and Gerard Butler are on stage at one time is fine with me." So at least that question was answered. It was to secure the gay vote.

-Hurt Locker wins for editing, and yep, I can safely say it is a Hurt Locker night.

-Did someone tell Keanu what the teleprompter said, or did he learn to read.

-What? I'm just wondering.

-Again with the lamps. Seriously, what is up with the lamps?

-I talked about this last year, but I really think that this "let's talk forever about each actress and actor up for Best Actor and Actress" thing is really unnecessary.

-I mean, the whole night is already pretty much a celebration of them, do we really have to spend all this extra amount of time having people talk specifically about how great they are?

-Honestly, actors and actresses are already egotistical enough. Couldn't this time be spent in celebrating less known aspects of filmmaking?

-If we're going to announce all of their names, what did we just spend the last 20 minutes doing? Ugh. And the worst part is, we have to do it all over again with the Best Actress Category.

-On the plus side, the Dude is now an Oscar winner.

-And his speech is very Dude-like. Is that the first time Groovy was ever used in an Oscar speech? Probably the first time it was used non-sarcastically at least.

-He just said, "Love, man"

-Yes, the Dude Abides.

-Come on, Sean Penn, say, "Commie-lovin, homo, son's of guns" in announcing the winner. You know you want to.

-Never thought Sandra Bullock would win an Oscar. Just never thought it would happen. Congrats. And congrats on winning the Razzie this year for Worst Actress also! Nice bookends.

-Showing the real family from the Blind Side makes me cry too. Just so you know.

-Babs. And this just became my friend Shannon's favorite Oscars ever.

-First woman to ever win Best Director. Congrats. And it is about time. Here is to many more in the future. (Unless I am up for the award, of course)

-I'll talk more about I don't think that The Hurt Locker deserved Best Picture when I finally release my Top Ten Movies of 2010.

Until Next Time, very boring Oscars and I thought that the Steve and Alec experiment was a complete failure. Oh well, see you next year.

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